A male patient is lying in bed

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A pretty, young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

😀

‘Nurse’, he mumbles, from behind the mask.

‘Are my privates black?

‘Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, ‘I don’t know, Sir.

I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.

‘He struggles to ask again, ‘Nurse, please check.

Are my privates black?’

😀

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his privates,

she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his privates in the other.

Then, she takes a close look and says,

‘There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir!’

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly:

‘Thank you very much.

😀

That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely…… ‘Are my test results back?”

Comments

A man travels on a ship

A man travels on a ship. 😀 Two days in, the ship encounters a storm and drowns. Hanging on weakly to a piece of the mast, he manages to survive and gets washed up on an unknown island. Only problem is, it’s so unknown that no ship ever comes near it. 10 years pass on the island, and the survivor has been alone all this time, that is until one day, he suddenly notices an unusual speck in the distance. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. No ship has ever come. As the speck gets closer and closer the man starts to rule out the possibility that it’s a small boat or even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a beautiful blonde woman wearing scuba gear and a wet suit. She approaches the man, who can’t believe his eyes. She tells him she has a boat nearby, and she just took a swim. 😀 The look of the poor man makes her feel a great wave of pity for him. “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” she asks the man. “It’s been 10 years,” he replies....

My boss phoned me today

My boss phoned me today 😀 My boss phoned me today. He said, “Is everything okay at the office?” I said, “Yes, it’s all under control. It’s been a very busy day; I haven’t stopped.” “Can you do me a favor?” he asked. 😀 I said, “Of course, what is it?” He said, “Hurry up and take your shot; I’m in the foursome behind you.”

Ted comes home blackout drunk, as he does most nights

Ted comes home blackout drunk, as he does most nights. 😀 With his eyes barely open, he misses his friend Carl in bed with his wife. He lies down and instantly passes out. Carl panics and tries to run but the wife stops him and whispers: “Don’t go, this moron is so drunk he won’t even feel me plucking a hair on his bum.” The wife does exactly that and the husband doesn’t move. Carl, now reassured, proceeds with the job. Half an hour later Ted moves a bit, and Carl is just about to freak out, the wife stops him and plucks another hair from his bum. Another hour later Carl is still going at it. After a while, just to be sure, he plucks another hair from Ted’s bum. 😀 Ted then moves around a bit and mumbles: “Look man, I don’t mind you lovemaking my wife, but do you really need to keep score on my bum?”

FUNNY JOKES

Search This Blog