Guy Gets Even With His Wife In A Crazy Way

Guy Gets Even With His Wife In A Crazy Way

😀

We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says: “I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that about?!?”
Then she uttered the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…
“You're just not in touch enough with my emotional needs as a woman, for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”
She saw my puzzled look and said, “Can't you just love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I decided to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her “we'll just buy them all”.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That's fine, honey.”She was almost nearing ecstatic satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don't feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT??!!!”
Then I said, “Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while
You're just not in touch enough with my financial needs as a man, for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

😀
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, “Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Comments

A man travels on a ship

A man travels on a ship. 😀 Two days in, the ship encounters a storm and drowns. Hanging on weakly to a piece of the mast, he manages to survive and gets washed up on an unknown island. Only problem is, it’s so unknown that no ship ever comes near it. 10 years pass on the island, and the survivor has been alone all this time, that is until one day, he suddenly notices an unusual speck in the distance. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. No ship has ever come. As the speck gets closer and closer the man starts to rule out the possibility that it’s a small boat or even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a beautiful blonde woman wearing scuba gear and a wet suit. She approaches the man, who can’t believe his eyes. She tells him she has a boat nearby, and she just took a swim. 😀 The look of the poor man makes her feel a great wave of pity for him. “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” she asks the man. “It’s been 10 years,” he replies....

My boss phoned me today

My boss phoned me today 😀 My boss phoned me today. He said, “Is everything okay at the office?” I said, “Yes, it’s all under control. It’s been a very busy day; I haven’t stopped.” “Can you do me a favor?” he asked. 😀 I said, “Of course, what is it?” He said, “Hurry up and take your shot; I’m in the foursome behind you.”

Ted comes home blackout drunk, as he does most nights

Ted comes home blackout drunk, as he does most nights. 😀 With his eyes barely open, he misses his friend Carl in bed with his wife. He lies down and instantly passes out. Carl panics and tries to run but the wife stops him and whispers: “Don’t go, this moron is so drunk he won’t even feel me plucking a hair on his bum.” The wife does exactly that and the husband doesn’t move. Carl, now reassured, proceeds with the job. Half an hour later Ted moves a bit, and Carl is just about to freak out, the wife stops him and plucks another hair from his bum. Another hour later Carl is still going at it. After a while, just to be sure, he plucks another hair from Ted’s bum. 😀 Ted then moves around a bit and mumbles: “Look man, I don’t mind you lovemaking my wife, but do you really need to keep score on my bum?”

FUNNY JOKES

Search This Blog